Most children don’t dream of growing up, meeting their soul mate, marrying their soul mate, and then having sex with other people/letting their spouse have sex with other people. In other words, most of us aren’t naturally predisposed to swinging. Some argue that humans are predisposed to be promiscuous, and sleep with plenty of people. Some argue we’ve evolved to be monogamous. But few people agree we’re meant to be in some in-between area, where we’re both committed to one person and sleeping with plenty of others. But that’s exactly what swinging is. So if our DNA, our upbringing, and our society don’t prompt the decision for a couple to become swingers, what does? You’ve probably wondered that when you’ve met swingers, or when married friends of yours have told you they’re going to start swinging. Here are some of the top reasons people become swingers.
They don’t want to cheat or split up
Sometimes a couple realizes they both have a strong desire to experience other sexual partners, but not for lack of loving each other or still wanting to have sex with each other. They don’t want to have to split up because they sleep with other people, and they don’t want to lie to each other about it, either.
If one or both people are bisexual, then the only way they can really be satisfied is by swinging. Some would say it’s unfair for a person who is bisexual to be limited to only sleeping with one gender their entire life. And in many couples, a person doesn’t consider it cheating if their partner is sleeping with a person whose gender is different than their own.
Their sex life is dead, but their bond is not
Some couples just lose the flame, but are still best friends who care deeply about each other, lead a very satisfying life together, and feel very connected on other levels. They don’t see why they should have to miss out on the sexual side of life, nor do they want to break up, so they swing.
For the kids
Some couples swing as a way of staying together but not really staying together. They’re great co-parents and they don’t want their children to grow up with divorced parents. They get along fine, but are no longer in love. They don’t get a divorce, but they swing instead so they can both be satisfied.
Swinging can be a huge thrill for voyeuristic individuals or individuals with sexual fantasies that involve more than two people. These couples may not swing regularly, but occasionally, as a way of fulfilling certain fantasies.
To promote jealousy/competition
Some couples need a certain level of jealousy and competition to feel aroused. Swinging provides this but within safe and clear boundaries. They get the thrill of feeling jealous, without the anger that can come with being cheated on.
They like to break the rules
If both individuals don’t care much for traditional, well, anything, then they may get into swinging. Maybe they even get off on doing things society would see as “naughty” or “abnormal.”
They weren’t meant for monogamy
Some people genuinely feel they aren’t meant for monogamy. They don’t enjoy the pain they bring to their partners by cheating, but they’ve never been able to sleep with only one person for an extended period of time. Swinging gives them an option to live their true nature without hurting anybody.
Sex isn’t emotional for them
For some people, sex and emotions don’t go hand in hand. Sex is just a physically pleasurable act, like getting a massage or eating their favorite food. For this reason, they don’t feel their relationship is enhanced by remaining monogamous.
It enhances trust
Many couples believe that swinging is the ultimate way to enhance trust in a relationship. They think that if you loosen your partner’s leash and let them play near the edge of acceptable behavior and they don’t push it, then you can trust them under any circumstances.
They’re headed for divorce
The reality is that for some couples, swinging is just the last stop before divorce. They think perhaps their relationship just needs some spicing up, or that they’re just not monogamous people. But they find that swinging doesn’t fix their bond and that they, in fact, have fallen out of love.
It’s a community
The swingers community is about a lot more than sex. There are swingers night clubs, bars, and pool parties. There are swingers cruises and resorts. Swingers tend to stick together and become friends, as well as sexual partners.
Uneven sex drives
If one person has no sex drive or a very low one, and the other has a very high sex drive, they may agree to be swingers so that the person with the higher sex drive can be satisfied. The person with the high libido will naturally swing more, but it’s only fair that both people have the option to swing.
It fulfills each part of their personalities
For some individuals, swinging goes beyond sex. They have dates with the people they swing with, and even go on weekend getaways with them. Perhaps their spouse appeals to 80 percent of their personality, and they seek other partners to satisfy the other part of their personality. So long as this is something both people are okay with, it can actually enhance the relationship and prevent arguments around their differences.
Marriage and sex are separate
Some people see marriage as an institution that is strictly about raising children in a stable environment, getting the tax breaks and other logistical factors. But they don’t really see sex and marriage as one and the same. If they both feel this way, then swinging is the natural decision.